Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Turned Off by Compliments?

I get put off when I am told I am beautiful. I don’t understand. Well, yes, I do. But why am I instantly turned off when I am told I am beautiful? Well, most specifically by men who try to convince me to go out with them. If you remember, I have become extremely picky when selecting a new boyfriend, and I talk a lot with them before deciding if I’ll accept a first date, which has not happened in over a year.

Right this moment, someone on whom I had a huge crush on in Elementary school and with whom I had flirted with when I was breaking up with my ex is asking me out. Well, he asked if I was free tomorrow, and seriously, I’m busy and I can’t even consider it. And he told me that he’s been wanting to see me again since then, and that it was a shame I was busy since I was so beautiful. He contacted me through Facebook last year, so he’s had an updated picture.

But everyone else that I refused to go out with said the very same thing! It’s a shame, I thought you were really hot, cute, etc. Why do they even say that? Does it actually work on some girl? Would it work for you?

The thing I don’t like about the compliment is that it’s based on physical attributes, and let’s be honest, it’s not very thoughtful. You’re beautiful. Oh, he just did it again. Not very original either. I’m sorry, but can I be blamed that I am not swept off my feet by boring compliments that do not reflect something meaningful about my personality?

To the men out there, please, please, learn to give compliments. You know, one of my friends, just a friend, once told me that I had such a flamboyant and happy personality that I was like a ray of sunshine in a very cloudy day. Now… if he could only have been trying to get a date, he’d have gotten one. Oh well.

Any thoughts?

Kynky Kytty

3 comments (+add yours?)

Gardenvy said...

I can agree, I really hate it when a man says "You're beautiful" and that's it.
I'm left thinking.. ok fool, I've only heard that from a dozen other blokes today.. but thanks.. I guess.
What am I supposed to respond with "Thanks but I thought you were physically disgusting looking.." which is most of the case being that I'm usually not attracted to other people.
I wish a man would come up to a woman (like myself) and say something like, "Hey I'm a total nerd but I saw you from afar and I'd love to have a chat or a coffee with you sometime." Easy as that. No direct compliments given, and only hinted at.

Kynky Kytty said...

Yeah, that's sweet. Someone actually did that to me yesterday. Someone from work who left work to return to school asked me out in a subtle way. He looks nice, I don't know him much, but just not sure how ready I am.

katia said...

i totaly know what you mean!! Well i don't get turned off by a guy saying your beautful, but i would not be able to have sex with a guy for the first time after he says i love you. I would rather have sex and then down the road tells me he loves me. I tried to explain this to friends but that just thought i was weird haha

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